I was really nervous about coming back to America. Traveling
alone scares me. I know that I can navigate the Cincinnati airport with ease
and while the airport in Port-au-Prince caused me anxiety back in August, I
feel comfortable with it now. But I was flying into the Miami airport for the
first time and to make matters worse, I not only had to figure out the airport
alone but customs too. I was so nervous that I left for the airport at 4:00- my
flight wasn’t until 6:30. It turns out that it was really good for me to be
there early! We had boarded the plane and were in the air by 6:00. The Haitian
airport has no speaker system to announce that the plane was boarding. I was
actually sitting reading a book when I looked up and saw an empty waiting room.
Automatic panic. I grabbed my things and rushed through the second security
checkpoint and hurried on to the plane. I was the third to last person on the
plane. The rest of the trip was spent playing with my ring and trying to calm
my nerves. What would America be like after seven months away? Would I feel at
home again or would I feel like an outsider? Would I feel guilty? Would I have
no problem falling into my old life? My nerves faded away as the plane began
its descent.
I was in awe. Have you ever seen America from the air at
night? It’s amazing. Breathtaking. I felt like I was a kid again, flying for
the first time. “Woah, look at that!! Do you see that??” I was taking up the
whole window, gazing out at the millions of twinkling lights. ‘Cause I’m a
music nerd, the lyrics to Taylor Swift’s song (don’t judge me!) popped into my
head. “We found wonderland, you and I got
lost in it and we pretended it could last forever. We found wonderland, you and
I got lost in it and life was never worse but never better.” I could get
lost looking at the lights and there was something seriously magical. But there
was a bit of a reality shock too. On one hand, life was never worse. Looking at
the lights meant I wasn’t in Haiti anymore. Even though this was a temporary
trip, there was that small, nagging thought in the back of my head that in
three months I would make this trip again, see these lights again, and be home…
but I would be leaving my other home, my kiddos, and my new friends behind for
good. On the other hand, life was never better. I needed a break from Haiti. I
was looking forward to seeing my mom again, and seeing my grandparents for the
first time since August. I wanted the air conditioning, the hot showers, the
home cooked meals. I wanted the big comfy bed and other luxuries of American
life. I was so torn.
From the air, I also
saw many neon signs advertising businesses and restaurants. It was honestly a
little overwhelming. I felt like a moth attracted to the lights- I couldn’t make
myself turn away. Just before we touched down, I saw a ten story building with
the label “Burger King”. What?? That’s
gotta be the biggest Burger King ever! Oh wait….. that’s stupid, Britt, it must
be headquarters or something. There’s no way that’s an actual fast food place. My
first several days in America were full of several thoughts like this one. It
turns out that being away for seven months meant I had forgotten some of extravagancies
of American life. I can’t tell you how many times over the course of my short 6
day trip I thought about air conditioning and how cold it was! If the
temperature in the house or car was under 75 or 76 degrees you could count on
me being in sweatpants or curled up under a blanket. The grocery store was
torture! And don’t even get me started about the movie theater! Why does every
place in America have to be freezing? More than a few times I thought to myself
We could save so much money! Turn the AC
off! I’m sure my dad will proud of me for “saving my inheritance” when I
get back home! J
Public bathrooms also have now become super confusing to me.
In the airport, I decided to make a pit stop in one before we hit the road. I
walked in and stopped…. How do I get the
lights to turn on?? I walked a few more steps into the bathroom and
realized- ahhh automatic. That’s
something you definitely never see in Haiti! Time to flush…. Wait. Where is the flusher?? Ohhhhh automatic
again. This is crazy. I walked to
the sink and again was confused. Seriously?
Where are the handles to turn the dumb water on? Oh yeah… it’s an automatic
one. America, what is up with the automatic-ness? Better dry my hands now. I
waved my hands under the towel dispenser. Nothing. I tried again. Again,
nothing. What on Earth? Why in the world
would I have to pull the towels out when everything else in the stinkin’
bathroom is automatic? After exiting the bathroom, Mom and I walked to the hotel
shuttle place. There was not one, not two, but three moving sidewalks… come on America,
if you have automatic moving sidewalks there is NO reason to not have automatic
towel dispensers in the bathrooms!!
Finally we made it to our hotel and I was so exhausted that
I didn’t even take a hot shower!! The lights from all the cars around the
airport and on the highway had given me such a headache that all I wanted to do
was curl up in bed to sleep. Looking back, I can’t even believe that I didn’t
take advantage of a hot shower on my first night back! We tried to sleep, but
you know what? America is way too quiet. I never thought I would really think
that. I tossed and turned for a while before finally putting in headphones and
music. In Haiti, we sleep with the windows open for a slight breeze. Every
night, we hear a variety of noises- car horns, people in the streets, all night
church, babies crying, roosters crowing, you name it. Though it took a while to
adjust to the noise, it now turns out to be something that is necessary to lull
me to sleep. I wonder if there is some sort of noise making machine that can
put together all these sounds for when I return permanently J
The next day we woke early and ate a delicious breakfast
compliments of the hotel. I had eggs and a muffin and some soft bread (Haiti’s
bread is ridiculously hard), apple juice and 2% milk! I was in heaven people!
We loaded all our crap into the rental car (five bags and a guitar case for 2
people!) and began the journey to my grandparents’ house. After seven months of
living in Haiti and only driving a few times, I was thrilled to be able to
drive, but was slightly taken aback. American roads are so big!! There are four
lanes in each direction! And everyone is staying in their respective lane,
except to pass! Every so often I would pass a speed limit sign and realize I
was going way too slow. The roads are so narrow and so crowded in Haiti that no
one drives much over 40 mph. I felt so reckless and crazy driving 60+ miles per
hour! Over the course of the trip, Mom had to remind me several times to speed
up or we would never make it to our destination. She also had to remind me
multiple times to put on my seatbelt- something that is nonexistent in Haiti.
The rest of the trip continued in much of the same fashion.
The first few days were the toughest, trying to get used to things that had
once been normal. Hot showers and a big bed to sleep in every night were two of
my favorite things and comforts that were easy to adjust to. Some of the others
were a little harder. For example, I’m so used to be cautious of water and ice
that the whole trip I was a little paranoid about where my glass of water came
from. Was the water out of the tap really safe to drink? What about the water
from the restaurant? This water fountain?? More than once, Mom caught me eyeing
my drink suspiciously and would reassure me that I was, indeed, in America
where the drinking water could be trusted. Electricity
was another thing that took some getting used to. Don’t get me wrong, we have
it in Haiti! However, we have two different types of power- inverter and city. City
power is usually on from 5:30am until about 4:00pm. After that, the city goes
dark. Some people have a generator or an inverter system (like our school)
which means they can use electricity after city power shuts off. When there is city power, we can do pretty
much anything. We can pump water, use a blow dryer or straightener, and do
laundry. When we’re on inverter power, we have lights, fans, and that’s about
it. Most days, we try to do all of the chores before city power is gone. While
I was in America, I needed to wash clothes. My grandma reminded me at 9:00 at
night. She helped me start the wash and then I realized, oh crap! It’s 9:00! We
couldn’t use the washer, it would eat up all our inverter power and we wouldn’t
have enough to finish the movie or use fans tonight!! Duh Brittany….. it’s America.
We have power all the time, as long as we pay for it! You would think after
living in America for 22 years that I would remember some of this stuff more
quickly than I was.
One of my favorite parts about visiting America again was
stopping in to speak with our pen pals in third grade at Rawlings Elementary
School in Tampa. My Aunt Candi is their teacher, so it was a great opportunity
to visit more family I hadn’t seen in a while, as well as teach these students
a little bit more about Haiti. With the help of my kiddos, we made a video
before I left to show the American students. (Check it out here) The video shows a brief tour of
Christian Light School and our classroom in particular. My kiddos talked all
about our rules and behavior system, the principal, the punishments for
misbehaving, and the food that they eat for lunch. They also counted in Creole,
sang the ABC’s in French, and sang Haiti’s national anthem. To finish the
video, my kids showed off their home, their rooms, the new swingset, and all
the pets living with them. I was so proud of them! Everything they said was
their words exactly; all I did was hold the camera. My kids loved making the
video and had even more fun watching themselves on the finished product. The
American kids were captivated by the video! It was so fun to watch them
watching it and to try to figure out what they were thinking. I answered
questions after showing the video and was surprised by how deeply some of the
children were thinking about life in Haiti. They asked all sorts of questions,
from “Are there still cracks in the ground from the earthquake?” to “Do you
have a McDonald’s?” to “Why do all the children live together in one house with
only one ‘dad’ to take care of everyone? Why do they not have a ‘mom’? Why do
they not have real moms or dads?”Shew, try explaining that to a group of kids! The forty-five minutes I was allotted flew by,
and I don’t know who was more disappointed that I had to stop talking- me or
the kids! A few days after I left, my aunt posted this on Facebook:
After watching the video our pen-pal teacher shared, and
hearing all about Haiti from her, I asked my class to write 3 facts they
learned, 2 questions they had, and 1 opinion they now had. I have to say - I'm
pretty impressed with what they had to say. Here's a sampling: Questions: Why
do you have the same food like rice and beans and fish all the time? Are there
people who are rich in Haiti? Is Haiti beautiful there? Opinions: I should be
grateful of my stuff. It must be painful to live in Haiti. It is too hot for me
to live in Haiti. I'm happy about the things I have. They do not got what we
got, and they don't got any McDonalds. When I get famous and rich I will give
some money to Haiti.
Bless their
sweet little hearts. It is so cool to think about how God is showing Himself
during my time in Haiti and continuing to show Himself in America. I always
just thought He would be using me IN Haiti, to help the children there. I never
even thought about the fact that He might use me to influence an American child
that I would only ever come into contact with once. It makes me think back to
my first interaction with a missionary when I was around the same age as these
children. A man named Joe Cluff came to our church and spoke about his mission
work in Kenya. He taught us some Swahili and let us ask him random questions
about lions and other misconceptions we had about life in Africa. Looking back,
I can clearly see how God used that moment to begin shaping my heart for
missions. Isn’t God awesome?? It’s also awesome to think that I can now do the
same thing that Mr. Joe Cluff did for me! When I talk about my experiences in
Haiti, God just might be tugging at the heart of a young person, or a teenager,
or an adult and bringing forth a person to further His kingdom! Wow! It gives
me chills just thinking about it.
Thank You Jesus
for all that You are. Thank You for providing for all that I can ask for or
even imagine. Thank You for sending me to Haiti, for allowing me to return to
America for a break, and for giving me the strength to come back to Haiti for
my last three months. I could never do this without You. Thank You for the
people who are praying for me. Thank You for Mr. Joe Cluff. Thank You for
America; for hot showers, big beds, my family, and everything in between. Thank
You for Haiti; for my kiddos, for this school, for the electricity and clean
water we have, and everything in between. Thank You for taking time to teach
me, mold me, fix me, and make me more like You. Thank You for Your forgiveness
when I fail. But most of all thank You for Your unfailing love, for dying on
the cross, for rising again, for defeating death so that I can live with You
forever in Heaven.
"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and
not for men.... You are serving the Lord Christ." ~ Colossians 3:23-24
