Christmas!!

Christmas is just two months away. Sitting in my room in shorts and a tshirt, sweating in the 90 degree weather, it doesn’t feel like that should be possible. But it is! I’ve got lots of mixed feelings about Christmas this year. On the one hand, I get to be with my family and I’m so excited that I don’t have to be alone on this holiday. On the other hand, I can’t help but to think of the kiddos in the children’s home. Not my kiddos. Not my seven that I get the privilege to teach each week, I know that they’re going to have a good Christmas. A team recently came and left beach balls, plastic golf clubs, flip-flops and more. They will wake up on Christmas morning and experience the joy of opening toys from Santa and spend the rest of the day destroying… I mean, playing with… those toys :) It’s the older kids that I worry about.

Like so many before me, when I first entered the children’s home I was drawn straight to the youngest inhabitants. I hugged and kissed and laughed and played with all the five, six, and seven year olds. It took me a month before I spoke to the teenagers, longer to learn their names, and it’s just now getting to the point where they will call out to say hello to me. It took nearly three months for me to feel comfortable talking to them, to joke with them, to remember their names. I’m ashamed by this. Unfortunately, it happens to these teenagers all too often. Everyone wants to see the little kids, to take their pictures, to laugh with them….while the older ones watch.

And now we’ve come to the reason that I worry about them. So many Americans hear the words ‘children’s home’ and think that the kids living there are 12 and younger. But that’s only about half of the children living there! In reality, there are kids as old as 20 living at the house! What will their Christmas look like? Will they have anything donated by Americans for them to open on Christmas morning? I’m sure that Katelyn and Lackis (the house parents) will provide something for these kids to open, but will it look like what the little kids have? I’m afraid it won’t… and I’m not okay with that.

Can you help? Has God blessed you with unexpected extra money this month? Will you receive a nice Christmas bonus this December? Is there any way you could cut out the pumpkin spice lattes and the peppermint hot chocolates? Listen, I love Starbucks just as much as all of you other typical white girls out there and I know how big of a sacrifice it would be to cut this out! I miss Starbucks so badly and there are days when… wait, off topic! Sorry! Back to the kids. I just want them to be able to open something they were hoping for on Christmas morning. Not clothes that don’t fit or a plastic golf club.

It’s because of your generosity that I am in Haiti right now. You! People I know and love, and even some people I have never met have donated money to send me to do God’s work in Haiti. I don’t know if you guys know this, but I am fully funded. I have been meaning to put a Facebook post out there to let everyone know that the $10,000 that I needed to live in Haiti for a year has been raised. Thank you so much! It was such a lofty goal that I didn’t think would be met by December, let alone by October! I want to thank you for your obedience to God and your willingness to donate your money to help support me. If I could, I want to push for a little more. Could we raise $1,000 more? That money would go 100% to the teenagers at the children’s home to help them have a good Christmas. This money would buy them new clothes that fit, new shoes that match and don’t have the soles worn out of them. It would buy nail polish, soccer balls, headphones, movies… Please pray about this request.

This is heavy on my heart today because of a conversation I had with Katelyn on the way to church this morning. I asked why none of the older girls were coming to church with us today. She frowned and told me that they didn’t have clothes. I kinda rolled my eyes, because as a girl, I say that all the time. “I literally have nothing to wear today…”  but that usually happens when I’m staring at a closet full of clothes and nothing jumps out at me. Katelyn said, “No seriously, they each only have one nice dress to wear to church. They wear the same dress every week and they’re tired of it. They’re embarrassed to wear the same thing every week and see their friends there.” It breaks my heart, friends. In a culture where we rarely wear the same thing twice in one month, these girls are wearing the same things every week because our mission can’t afford to buy them anything new and all the clothes that get donated are for the younger children. As I was coming back from church, I saw one of our teenage boys standing outside the gate barefoot. I asked him why he didn’t go to church with everyone and he stared at his feet and said he didn’t have shoes to wear. His shoes just broke and he wasn’t allowed to go to church. Guys, these teenagers need Jesus. They need to know there is hope for them and that someone loves them more than anything else in this world. They need to know they are redeemed and they are priceless jewels to our King. But they are being kept from church due to something so simple as shoes and dresses.

If you would like to help, please contact me at brittany.gilbreat@gmail.com. A friend and I are in the process of organizing a shoe and dress drive to collect items that these teenagers need. My parents are coming to visit in December and they will be bringing some items with them as well. However, if you would like to donate money, that would be amazing!! Since I’m here, it’s hard to get money to me. Please make checks out to Tammy or Michael Gilbreath. They will deposit the money into my account and I will give everything we collect to Miss Katelyn and Mr. Lackis (the house parents) so that they can go buy presents for the teenagers. My goal is $1,000! I know my God is an amazing God and that He will do more than we can ask for or even imagine! I also know you and I know that you guys amazed me with your giving once before. Let’s do this together! :)

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.... You are serving the Lord Christ." ~ Colossians 3:23-24

Tears and Teachings

Every Monday morning, I start the morning by singing with my students and then teaching a short Bible story, and the kids are given their memory verse for the week. This week, I taught them the B-I-B-L-E song, and then oepened a children's devotional. Now, being the excellent planner I am, I had not sat down beforehand to figure out which lesson I wanted to teach. (hahaha, sarcasm) I quickly found one that I thought would be quick and easy- the title was "Does Jesus Cry?" I asked the students about times that they have been sad to help them relate before I told them the story found in Luke 11. Jesus's good friend Lazarus had just died and Jesus, being fully man and fully God, wept. It's the shortest verse in the Bible, and I wanted my students to memorize it. Luke 11:35, Jesus wept. We talked about how crying when you're sad is completely okay. Jesus never sinned, not one single time. He cried when He was heartbroken that His friend died. Since my kiddos are from the Children's home, a lot of them have never been taught how to deal with emotions. When they cry, they're often laughed at by the other kids and don't ever get to talk about what made them upset. They try to hide their tears and be tough. It's really sad, and I want them to know that if Jesus cried, it's completely, 100% okay for them to cry.

Fast forward to Wednesday. I woke up in the middle of the night with a crazy stomach ache. I spent the majority of the morning in the bathroom... well, I'll spare you the details. Anyways, I'm so completely rundown and exhausted. When you're sick, you just want your mom. I'm convinced that this is true no matter how old you get. On top of being sick, we had no power, which means no fans and no wifi, no movies to keep you entertained. It sounds so "American" to get frustrated about those things, but when you've been sick and are running a low grade fever, a fan is an absolute necessity. At about 6:00, my mom texts me to tell me that a family friend has suddenly passed away. Tom Broyles was my basketball coach's husband, and a wonderful man. He always was encouraging me to keep practicing and even after I graduated high school he would still find me to ask how college was going. He was such a positive man and it was very upsetting to hear of his death. And to be honest, it scared me. I was worried for my family, for my parents and brother as they went about their daily lives. What if something were to happen to them suddenly, just as it did to Mr. Broyles? What if I couldn't make it home in time to say goodbye? Add these worries on top of my tough day of not feeling well and missing home.... let's just say I was a wreck. I managed to walk up to the children's home to talk to one of my good friends down here, Ashlie Will, without crying. As soon as I entered the gate and saw all the kiddos running at me, I lost it. One of my little girls, Magdala jumped into my arms and as I held her, the tears flooded down my face. She looked at me with wide eyes, "Miss Brittany, why are you crying??" I hurriedly put her down and ran upstairs because I hate to have people see me cry. After talking to Ashlie Will and praying with her for peace, I walked back downstairs to find Magdala waiting for me, worry in her little eyes, which of course reduced me to a puddle again.

We sat on the stairs for a long time, a five year old girl mothering a twenty-two year old by wiping her tears and telling her it will all be okay. I apologized to her; after all, this is something I should be taking care of by myself. I shouldn't be relying on the hugs of a child to help me. Magdala looked up at me and told me something I will never forget, ever. "Miss Brittany, Luke 11:35... Jesus wept. And now, you wept. But it's okay, Miss Brittany. You can cry when you're sad because Jesus cried when He was sad. It's okay Miss Brittany, it's okay." Wow. Isn't it amazing how God uses the people you're supposed to be teaching to teach you instead?? I was blown away by my little student. Even as I'm writing this now, I'm reduced to tears over the wisdom of this little girl. It melts my heart. Every word that she said was so completely true. I've always hated crying in front of people- it seems like weakness or something. I'm not sure exatly. I just don't do it. Not in movies, not at weddings, not at graduations... I just try to hold it in as best I can and cry privately later. But Jesus himself was not ashamed to cry in front of others when He was truly sad. Sadness is an okay emotion, it's human. I'm allowed to cry, to admit I'm hurting.

I've been in Haiti nine weeks, and I'll admit- it's hard. Is this where God called me to be? Absolutely. Do I miss my mom, my dad, my brother, Steph, Makenzie, my church family, my dog, my old life? Absolutely. It's just now hitting me that I'm not here for a few weeks and then coming back home like I've always done. This is my life for the next 8 months. I'm going to be completely honest. It's hard. It's hard to see everyone carving pumpkins with their families, to see everyone going through corn mazes with their friends, and for me to be here. It's hard to go from being surrounded by a ton of people and friends in college to only talking to one or two friends from home. It's hard to meet all these new people, figure out their personalities and quirks and figure out where I fit in. But my God is an awesome God. He knows every tear I cry, even when I cry in private. He knows how my heart aches to see my family, and He is allowing them to come down in December. He knows when I'm hurting and sends help in all different forms- even from a five year old child.

There's so much more to write, but I'll have to save it for another blog. I want to leave you with the devotion that I read last night when I was struggling to find sleep. "Blessed, Merciful God, your Word promises that those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. If I go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, I will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with me (Psalm 126:5-6). Help me to see that the promise is not made to those who simply have tears, but to those who are willing to sow seed in the midst of their tears. Your Word tells us in Luke 8:11 that the seed is the Word. If I am willing to keep believing and sowing Your Word, even when I am desperately hurting, You will bring me forth from this difficult season with songsof joy. Because of your faithfulness, with joy I will draw water from the wells of salvation (Isaiah 12:3)."

Lord, that is my prayer. Help me to go out and proclaim the Gospel to the children I have been blessed with in my classroom, even when I am so homesick. Even when my heart aches and I am brought to tears in the middle of the orphanage. Even when I'm worried about the safety of my family and friends. Even when I am mourning the death of a good man. Help me to never stop doing Your work. You will bring me through it and allow me to be encouraged and return with songs of joy. Amen.

Playdough and Pictures!

Finally, the post you have all been waiting for! A post with pictures! Since I've been here for almost two months now, there's not a lot of new things happening. I've settling into my routine of teaching, resting, visiting the children's home, eating, going back to the children's home and then reading before an early bedtime of 9:30. I've thought many times about posting, but aside from the few short stories I post on Facebook, there's not really a whole lot that's new. So,  here's a few pictures to let you get a small glimpse into what a normal day looks like for me! The pictures are in no particular order... after working on uploading them for nearly two hours I have no patience left to organize them at all! Haha! 

Miss Jennifer- our preschool, three-year old, four- year old, fourth grade reading, seventh and eighth grade math teacher. Here she is on her first night at the house, getting in some snuggle time with JW.

The best drummers you'll find in Haiti, and their conductor, Vidlon. 

Herode using his wonderful imagination! 

Our kids are obsessed with superheros and ninjas. 

 Today in class, I decided to be a little ambitious and get out the playdough. After a talk about the rules (playdough does not go in your mouth, in your desk, in your ears, on your hair, on the floor, etc.) we practiced writing our names! Then, the kids practiced making their spelling words and using the alphabet to practice writing a few basic words! They were so excited to be allowed to play with playdough. I'm not sure I've ever seen them so well behaved!

 

This is Mr. Jerry, one the fabulous teachers who works in the special ed classroom with me! 

Vidlon practicing his spelling words! 

My little princess bed! I tried to sleep without the net for a while, but I must taste too sweet because all the mosquitoes feasted on me! Mosquito net it is! 

My little yellow classroom! :)

The sweet note my fellow missionaries left me for the first day of Special Education! 

Kevenson is 5 years old and he loves to steal Miss Katelyn's shoes! What a stinker :)

Meet David! He's our EMT, electrician, wifi guy, driver, water specialist, and entertainer. It's never a dull moment with this guy around!

The sunrise on my very first morning of school! So beautiful! 

My good friend, Michelle. Unfortunately, she was only here for a month but I'm looking forward to reuniting in December (hopefully). She's got one of the sweetest hearts and is really great with the kiddos! 

Discipline in Haiti. All you have to say is "punishment" and they go to the wall. That would never fly in America!! Hopefully I won't bring this bad habit back to the states or I would be in heaps of trouble! 

The view from the pool when we went to Wahoo Bay, a private beach resort. 

The most beautiful beach I've ever seen! The mountains in the background make for a stunning view! 

This is the Ravine, where Katelyn goes to feed babies every morning. Many of the students who come to Christian Light School live along the Ravine.

 That's all for now, it's literally been three hours since I opened this blog to try to add these pictures. There are so many more that I want to share with you, so keep your eyes peeled. Maybe God will give me the patience to sit and add some more on Saturday. Thank you to everyone for your continued prayers for me and for my team here at Christian Light Schools! I miss you all and am so thankful for you!

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.... You are serving the Lord Christ." ~ Colossians 3:23-24