Dust

It has been quite a week this week. I'm working on a longer blog post to let you all know what I've been up to this first week of school, but it is really long and I wanted to share a shorter story with you that has been on my mind since Thursday.

I was teaching in 3rd grade (my favorite so far, though it's a close tie with 2nd grade). Anyways, 3rd grade reading happens at the end of the day, when both my students and I are more than ready to go home and let our brains relax. As a result, we tend to butt heads. I just want them to pay attention to me for 45 minutes, they just want me to stop talking. It can be frustrating to say the least. Thursday afternoon, I was exhausted. It was my first full day of teaching two subjects to four grade levels for a total of eight classes. I was trying to explain to the class what comprehension was and why it was important. I was standing next to one of the chattiest students in the room, trying to use proximity to silence him. It worked, but every so often he would bend down for a few seconds, touch his hands to the floor and then straighten back up to listen to me. After he had done so four or five times, I grew frustrated. "Danielo, why can't you...." As I was fussing, I looked down to see this precious boy cleaning the dust off my black flip flops. He looked up at me with wide, startled eyes. My heart melted.

My student, my talkative, energetic, disruptive student was cleaning my shoes. He had nothing to give to me to show me that he loved me. Just that smile and a simple act of service. My shoes that I had worn all day were nasty. They had dust caked on the front of them; I had long since given up the idea that the shoes would stay black during my time here in Haiti. They would get dusty again within 10 minutes of me leaving the classroom. I started to protest, to tell Danielo that this was pointless, that he should have been paying attention instead of cleaning my shoes, that they would get dirty again soon and he should not waste his time. But as I looked into his eyes, my protests fell away.

It reminded me so much of the Bible story  found in Luke 10 where Mary took the time to wash Jesus's feet despite the protests of the others gathered in the room that I was actually speechless. "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary." I was Martha in that moment. I was frustrated and upset that Danielo was not paying attention to me and what I was saying, much as Martha is anxious and upset that Mary was not helping her prepare food for the Lord. She thought what she was doing was more important. But just as Jesus rebuked Martha, God rebuked me. Daughter, remember why you are here. I'm not here to teach reading comprehension or to make sure that all of my students are listening to me 100% of the time. I'm here to show the love of God to my students. So far, they are doing a better job of showing ME the love of God!! Thank God for 10 year olds, huh?

First Impressions

Today marks my fourth full day in Haiti. What a busy and crazy four days it has been! I'll start from the beginning.

I woke up at 3:00am Friday morning to get ready for my big adventure. My stomach was a crazy mess. I can't even begin to describe what it feels like to pack up your whole life, say goodbye to everyone you love, and leave. Even now thinking about it, I get emotional. So fair warning, this won't be an extremely deep or detailed paragraph. I will start crying in the middle of the teacher's lounge and everyone will look at me, which is not my favorite thing in the world. Anyways, my best friends in the world dropped me off at the airport- my mom, my dad, my brother, Makenzie, Stephanie, and her husband Zac. It was so much tougher than I thought to hug my favorite people goodbye for the year. I know that God wants me in Haiti for a reason and it is my duty as a Christian to drop everything and say, "Yes Lord", but that morning at the airport I was definitely praying for God to change His mind. The walk from the lobby through security and to my gate was one of the toughest walks of my twenty-two years. I am so thankful for the support I received on Saturday- from the people who came to see me off and from all of you who blew up my phone and facebook with sweet, encouraging notes.

I slept the whole way from Cincinnati to Atlanta, and was feeling much better about this trip when I woke. I found my way lugging a guitar case and a rolly suitcase to the gate that I needed to be at and sat for the next three hours. I, for one, think this was a major win! I felt like such a grown up, which probably sounds silly. But that was my first airplane ride alone and my first time finding my way around an airport alone. Yay me! Anyways, I borded the next, and final plane. I hadn't cried since saying goodbye to my family that morning and was feeling pretty good.... until the planes' engines roared to life and I realized what was happening. This plane was taking me away for a year. Right now, I was still in America. I could still turn around. Cue panic. I cried from the time the engines started until the time we had reached cruising altitude and I fell asleep. Leaving home is scary. But to me, disobeying God is even scarier.

After some tears about filling out the green card (I didn't remember how to completely fill it out) and some help from a nice missionary couple (thanks!) I landed in Haiti. The airport was SO much better than when I came in 2011. It actually looked like an airport, with a real luggage belt and everything! I was amazed! Praise God, because the Haitian airport was something I was really nervous about. Praise God for the several missionary teams I met that looked out for me on the plane, answered my questions, and even kept an eye out for me after we landed. I was talking to a Haitian man trying to find my driver, and one of the ladies I met on the plane caught my eye to ask if I was okay. Thank You, God for putting these kind people in my path to make sure I stayed safe until I got to the school!

Finally, I made it to the school. My roommate, Ashleigh, and some of the boys that were hanging around the school helped me carry my luggage upstairs to the room. Listen y'all, that room is tiny! For all my EKU friends, it's smaller than commonwealth. We have two beds, a sink, and a small three shelf closet. If I sit on my bed and stretch my foot out, I can touch Ashleigh's bed. This will take a while to get used to, coming from an apartment where I not only had my own room, but my own closet that was the size of a bedroom. Ashleigh and I share a bathroom with a woman named Tammy, who has become my momma down here. Praise God for her! But I'll talk more about her later. Back to the bathroom. Our bathroom consists of a toilet, which is broken, and a shower made of PVC pipe. But Brittany, how do you use a broken toilet?? Well, here in Haiti, we have a saying- if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down. So yeah... there's that. If we do need to flush, we have to fill up a bucket with water from the shower and pour it into the toilet and it automatically flushes. I don't know if every toilet is like this or not, but I'm insanely curious! Will one of you courageous people try it for me and report back?? Anyways, sorry, sometimes I get super distracted and off topic. Bear with me. Back on topic... the shower. Showering is quite the experience here too. It's literally a PVC pipe with a small handle. We turn the shower on (no temperature knob.... if it's later in the afternoon/night it might be warm. Might. But mostly it's always cold. Back on subject now...) and rinse our bodies and hair. Then we turn the shower off and lather up with shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. We turn the water back on to rinse off, and then our shower is over. My first night, I almost cried. How was I going to do this for a year?? Thankfully, God is with me and I am learning that there are worse things in the world than having to shower like this.

I am extra thankful to report that we have wifi here nearly all the time! Sometimes it goes in an out, but hey, this is Haiti. I am also extra thankful for the electricity we have at the school, and the fans that have been provided. This makes it much easier to sleep. It has been about 100 degrees everyday here. H-O-T hot. I don't think I've stopped sweating since arriving! I'm hoping my body adjusts soon- Ashleigh wears jeans and has her hair down some days. Maybe that will be me in 10 weeks too!!

The days here are a little odd. This has been unlike any mission trip I've ever been on, where you hit the ground running. I've been able to relax, take some time to adjust, and just chill on my own. Some days, it's frustrating because I don't have anything to do. If you know me, you know I like to stay busy. Down time is not my specialty, unless I'm napping! HA! However, it has been so good to meet people, learn rules, and figure things out before I have responsibilities piled on me. The past few days have been filled with drinking water, making friends (yay!), reading, napping, a few meetings, and taking a few inventories of desks and books. The sun is up when I wake up at 8:00 and begins setting at about 7:30 or so. By the time 9:30 rolls around, my body is so confused. The sky has been dark for several hours, therefore it must be time for bed... except it's wait, 9:30 and I haven't gone to bed at that time since like middle school! Oh, the adjustments!

Yesterday, I had such an adventurous day! I went to the children's home with my friend, Michelle. We held the cutest little baby boy named JW. He's one and a half but he's such a cuddle bug! I could have stayed down there for hours but Michelle had been teaching all day and was needing to head back and rest. The heat down here absolutely wipes you out. As soon as we reached the school, Tammy and Ashleigh told me they were going to the store and invited me to go with them. I literally sprinted to my room and grabbed my purse... I was that excited. We walked about two blocks and then caught a taptap. A tap tap is the Haitian version of a taxi. It looks like a pick-up truck that has an awning over the bed. People hop in and then when they want to stop, they tap the glass on the cab to let the driver know they want to get out. After about a 6 minute ride, we were at the store. I walked in the front doors and guess what..... they had..... air conditioning!!!! Hallelujah!!! I think I'll be volunteering to go to the store every week! :) Inside the store, everything is labeled in gouds, which is Haitian currancy. It takes 44 gouds to make one American Dollar. I was so overwhelmed that I just bought a few drinks and some cookies because the conversions were taking me too long. I hope to get better at that as the time goes on! We paid and took the tap tap back to the last stop and then walked the two blocks back to the school. So. Much. Fun. I know that going to the store won't always seem like such an adventure, but it definitely seemed like one to me. It's the little things in life, it really is.

Today, we met the Haitian teachers that we will be working with. I finally got the confirmation that I will be teaching Reading and Math in English to the 2nd to 5th grade students. I will come into a teacher's class and take a small group of students out to work on reading or math skills. Right now, we're still trying to figure out my schedule, but I'm hoping to get it ironed out soon! I am so excited to have met the people I'll be working with this year. They are so sweet and they are just as excited to work together! Tomorrow, we meet the parents. I am extremely nervous about this- I don't speak a lick of Creole or French, so I'm not really sure how this meeting will go. But, I have God on my side, so I know that He will be with me and allow the day to run smoothly. In just 5 days school starts!! Please please be praying for this. There is so much that needs to be done in a super short amount of time. We need to buy and rearrange desks, receive and distribute uniforms, and I need to plan lessons for 4 grade levels! Ahhhhhhhhh! Since this is my first year teaching, I really have no clue what I'm doing. Please pray for me and for my future students. This could be an interesting year!

Wow, I feel like I've typed out a novel. There is so much more that I want to say but I know that a) you're probably wondering if this will ever end and b) my fingers are about to fall off because I bought a tiny keyboard for my kindle fire so that I didn't have to lug around my computer that may or may not die at any moment, but it's so tiny my fingers are cramping!! I would like to leave you with some prayer requests.

* Please pray for my family,close friends and I. While we can use technology to facetime and text, it is still extremely hard being away from them. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. This trip is forcing me to rely fully on God, instead of relying so much on my family and close friends. It's a good lesson to learn, but a difficult one.

* Please pray for me as I begin to prepare lessons this school year. I basically have 8 classes... reading and math in four grade levels. I'm already beginning to feel overwhelmed and the school year hasn't even started yet.

*Please pray for all the students coming to school here. Pray that they come to know God as their Lord and Savior and that they grow to be Christian leaders in this country.

*Please pray for good health. Being here where it is so hot is taking a toll on my body. I feel tired and lethargic by about 2:00 in the afternoon. The heat also makes it difficult to eat. Don't worry Mom, I am eating! But if you could just pray for sickness to stay away and that my body adjusts soon.

Thank you for your prayers!! I truly felt them on the way down here and know that God is hearing them. God is blessing me through little things like rain, cupcakes, and trips to the grocery story :) I will try to post again soon with pictures and stories of school starting!!! I can't wait!!

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for human masters. ~Colossians 3:23

Seven.

The number of fish my brother currently has in his new fish tank. The number of skirts I just bought at goodwill. The record number of skirts I have ever owned at one time. The number of days until I leave for Haiti. Seven. Cue anxiety, nervousness, stress, overwhelming to-do lists, excitement, joy, and peace. To quote a great character, “One person can’t feel all that at once, they’d explode!” Well, Ron Weasley, some days I feel like I might.

There have been days where I’m so overwhelmed with what life will look like in Haiti that there is no other option than to sit down and cry. I think about all the things that I’ll miss while I’m gone for a year. I’ll miss the premiers of the new Hunger Games, Divergent, Pitch Perfect, Spiderman, and Shemar Moore movies. I won’t get to drive my red jeep with the top down home to a nice air conditioned room with a queen size bed. I won’t get to have ice cream. Ice cream, y’all! I think about the people I have become so accustomed to living life with. My mom, dad, and brother. My best friend. The people I have relied on to get me through my four years of college and the friends I have made along the way. I have begun to think about everything I went through the past year and the people who were there to support me physically, emotionally, and lead me spiritually. I know that I’ll still be able to contact all these people when I need them, but there’s something terrifying about being in a different country. They can’t come give me a hug when I need it or pop my back or give me a massage when I’m stressed or frustrated.

            Yet, there are days when I experience complete joy and peace when I think about what will happen this upcoming year. Some days, I am so excited to leave that I just can’t hold it in. I sit and look at pictures from my previous trips and am giddy when I think that I will be back in the country that I love. My heart seems to swell with pure joy when I think about the kiddos I will meet and the Gospel message that they will hear. I smile when I think about the smell of burning trash, the dust, the bugs, and the sun. I’m excited!!! I know some of you are reading this and thinking that I’m a little crazy to be smiling when I think of bugs and dust, and sometimes I wonder too. But I know that this peace, contentment, and joy that I feel can only be from God.

I want to share a few stories of what God has been doing in my life these past few weeks as I began preparing for this adventure. He has been teaching me so much and I’ve already grown in several different ways and I haven’t even left the country yet! This makes me so excited to see what will happen when I eventually DO leave!

Two days ago, I was riding on the back of the motorcycle that my dad was driving. I was admiring all the green trees standing tall in front of a gorgeous sunset. I watched beautiful country homes with wrap around porches fly past us and waved at people sitting outside. I began to think about how this was so different than what I was going to be experiencing in just seven days. There wouldn’t be smooth, paved roads or tall, green trees. There would be dust and crowds of people; the air would smell of burning trash. The sunset would seem even more gorgeous without the buildings standing in its way. And instead of freaking out over all the changes I would be facing in the next several weeks, I was content. In that moment, God showed me that yes, Haiti will be different. But different isn’t bad. It’s just different.  I can love America and the people and the beauty that I find here. At the same time, I can love Haiti and the different people and the different types of beauty that I find there. I don’t need to be anxious about the changes and differences.

God has also taught me so much about how faithful He is. Just last week, I received an email from the finance guy at Christian Light Schools (the school I’ll be teaching at) which informed me that I had not received any support yet. Panic started to well up in my stomach. Here I was, two weeks away from leaving the country, and I had not raised a single penny to help get me there and pay for my expenses for the year. God knew I was panicking and mercifully stepped in with a reminder. He has called me. He opened doors to my dream job. He allowed the perfect school to be hiring. He has perfectly orchestrated this entire adventure long before I even knew about it. He will provide. I know without a doubt that this is where I am meant to be. God isn’t going to open all these doors to send me, but close the money door. A few hours after I had read that email, a friend stopped by to tell me that his parents had just donated. My parents text me to let me know that they just filled out the form online and were supporting me monthly. A friend from summer project messaged me to tell me the same thing. A few days later, I went to the dentist. This is so cool; I seriously have goosebumps as I’m typing this. There I am, sitting in the chair when the dentist asks about what I’m doing now that I graduated. I tell him my story, leaving out the part about raising money because I’m never quite sure how to work that into a conversation. He looks at me and says, “Well, I didn’t get a support letter, but I would love to help you out! Let me get my checkbook.” The lady who cleans my teeth pulled out her checkbook too! Let me tell you what- that was God telling me that He knows I am stressing about raising $10,000 and reminding me that He is in control and He can do all things. Thank You Lord for doing more than I could ever ask or even imagine!!

            Thank you to everyone who has donated to help send me to Haiti. I honestly could not do this without you. If you haven’t donated yet, there is still time. Please prayerfully consider supporting me with a monthly donation of $25, $50, or $100. Any amount that you feel led to give is greatly appreciated! One-time donations, monthly donations, anything works and any amount will help! Please go to http://www.christianlighthaiti.org/brittany-gilbreath.html and click donate now on the right side of the screen. This will take you to a new page, where you will click ‘donate now’ again. This will take you to a new screen where you will input all your information and how much you would like to donate. This next part is extremely important- on the next screen, you need to put my name in the box that asks for any special instructions. This will ensure that your donation goes directly to me- to pay for my rent, food, travel, and medical expenses. If you don’t feel comfortable with donating online, you could send a check made out to Christian Light Schools, Inc to Christian Light Schools, Inc. at PO Box 2190 in St. Augustine, FL 32085. If you choose to send a check, write my name in the memo line so they know whose account to place the money in. I still need about $8,000 in order to be fully supported for the year. While this seems daunting, I have complete faith in my God; He will provide.

            It has been amazing to see how many people care and are genuinely interested in my story. I’ll be standing in line at the store buying skirts when the clerk comments about how many I’m buying. I’ll start talking and telling my story and we’ll stand there for a few minutes extra even after everything has been rung up, discussing why I’m going to Haiti and what I’m doing there. I was at the post office the other day and asked for 100 stamps. The guy kinda looked at me weird before pulling them out and asked, why do you need so many stamps? Boom. I got to tell him that God was sending me to Haiti to teach, and we talked about ministry and churches for a while. Every day, I hang out with someone different- a friend, someone I work for, and random people I happen to run into. Every day, you ask thoughtful questions and express concern for my wellbeing while I’m in Haiti. You guys are AWESOME! I love to talk about what I’m doing and I love even more that you are interested in what God has called me to do! Thank you for caring, for praying, for expressing concern, for spreading the word and sharing my story with your friends. It‘s one of the neatest things ever when one of you texts me to tell me that you shared my story with a friend who wants me to know they’re praying for me. Prayer is so powerful and I appreciate it every prayer said on my behalf! Please keep praying!

This is probably my last blog post while I’m in the states. Ahhhh! That’s really scary to think about! This time next week, I’ll be in Haiti! Please pray for my heart as I have to say goodbye. Some days, I feel like it might rip in two. Pray for my parents, as I know it’s harder for them than it is for me. Pray for the kiddos that I will meet while I’m in Haiti, and that God will start preparing their hearts for the Gospel message. Pray that God will start preparing my heart for all that I will learn about Him through these children. I have no doubt that this will be a life changing trip and I am so looking forward to sharing the experience with you guys!

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.... You are serving the Lord Christ." ~ Colossians 3:23-24