Two Options

When I told people I was coming to live in Haiti for a year, I had many reactions. Some people were genuinely happy for me; lots of people were taken aback and looked at me like I was crazy for wanting to live in a third world country for a year. Everyone has been so supportive of my choice whether they understand or not. Thank you all for taking this journey with me! We’re almost halfway through, and I’ve learned so much from my time here and, believe it or not, from you! That’s for a different blog post though. This one is about a lesson God has taught me the past two weeks.

Perspective. When people see Haiti, what they have one of two opinions.

Opinion One: This place is dirty, smells bad, and seems hopeless. They focus on the trash lining the streets and in the river. They see the hard faces people in the markets sitting day in and day out waiting for people to buy something from their little stand.  They see the cars and motorcycles weaving in and out of traffic, hear the horns honking and people yelling and think- this place is crazy. No rules, no regard for others… it’s hopeless. There is nothing I can do here to help; take me home NOW!

Opinion Two looks a little different. These people see the trash lining the streets and are aware of the hard faces. But they also see the smiles of the children. Instead of seeing the car that is driving way too quickly through the market, they see the good Samaritans that are pushing people to the side of the road to protect them. Instead of seeing the destruction and devastation from so many hardships, they see resilience, determination, and most of all hope. They see promise for the future and want to help.

When I first arrived in Haiti in 2010, I saw destruction but for some reason, I fell in love. I saw the dirt and the trash and the children with no clothes and the babies with disabilities who had been abandoned and so many other things that broke my heart. But thankfully, God allowed me to also see the beauty through the suffering. Five years later, I’m living as a full time missionary here. I’m teaching seven children who have been through so much trauma in their early lives. We work every day on staying in their seats and raising their hands to speak. We have been working on 10 sight words for the past two months. We were making what I thought was great progress, but then Christmas break happened. Literally everything that I had taught them had been forgotten. I’m not talking about a little regression…. I’m saying that it was like someone had come in and taken everything that I had taught them. It was gone. We were starting all over with letter names and sounds, blends, and number recognition. This is very common for children who have been severely malnourished during the time when their brain is developing. It felt hopeless, guys. I wondered what I was doing here with these kids who were struggling to learn. It seemed like I was fighting an uphill battle and working towards a lost cause.

But God used a lesson at Sunday school to show me a new perspective. His. I was teaching seven of His children, who were made in His image. I had the privilege to see their sweet smiles and receive their hugs. Was their endless chatter, name calling, questions, and tattle tale-ing annoying? YES! But, look for one minute through God’s eyes. Don’t we all do the same thing as my children? “God, did you see how unfairly my boss treated me today?” “God, I please help me with this lesson that you’ve been trying to teach me for so long. I thought I learned it already, but I guess I forgot… ” “God, I messed up…. but it’s not my fault! He/she tempted me!” Yet, God doesn’t become frustrated. He doesn’t sigh or roll His eyes. He loves us as much as He loves His own Son. When I step back from my frustration and annoyance and look through God’s lense, I see seven children who are hurting. I see seven beautiful, smart children who are looking for someone to tell them that they are special. I see seven children who want someone to notice that them and comfort them. When a student is tattling on another student and I dismiss it, I’m telling them that their problems aren’t important. When I have received nine hugs from one student in an hour and I push away the tenth, I’m telling that child that I don’t want their love.

It is such a hard lesson to learn. I don’t like hugs or people hanging on me all the time, especially when it’s hot. I get annoyed with all the tattle tale-ing that my students do. I reached a point where I was so frustrated with all the things going wrong in my classroom that I forgot to look at all the things going right. After that Sunday, I asked God to help me see things from His perspective. I’m not magically fixed. I can’t always see the bright side or see the good right away. For example, a student bit me Thursday. I went up to the house to talk to Ms. Katelyn and Mr. Lackis only to find that the student hid the note home and lied about his behavior that day. I was so MAD! When that child ran up to hug me, I stepped back and told him I didn’t want hugs from someone who hurt me. He looked genuinely confused and hurt. “I’m sorry, Miss Brittany,” he said, with his arms outstretched. He waited patiently for me to accept his apology. I told him, “it’s okay” and halfheartedly gave him a hug. “Miss Brittany, you’re supposed to tell me you forgive me,” he said, as he was crushing me in a huge hug. At that point, I was still so mad and annoyed with him that I didn’t want to. But God opened my eyes at that moment and said, Britt… he apologized without you asking him to. Would that have happened five months ago when you first got here? Look! Something you taught him stuck!  Looking at the situation through God’s eyes was hard, but I had to laugh. Something I taught this kid had stuck. It might not have been the letter names or sounds, it might not have been math or science, but it was something that would be of even greater use to him throughout his life. God has me here for a reason. When I look at the world through His lenses, I can see hope.

I don’t do this often, but I want to challenge you this week. Try to use God’s perspective this week. In both the hard times and the good, I want to challenge you to see things how God sees things. It is so easy to become downcast and frustrated in our daily lives. It’s easy to complain and bicker, to focus on negative things like weight gain, traffic, unruly kids, unfair bosses, and so much more. These things are trash. Don't focus on them. Stop and ask God to help you see things from His viewpoint. Only then can we see beauty, worth, life, and hope.

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.... You are serving the Lord Christ." ~ Colossians 3:23-24